If only I were a manequin...

I am trying to remember that my time with my kids is limited and that I shouldn't take this time for granted. That is what the wiser, older people tell me.

I was at the mall the other day letting the girls play in the play area where all the fun stuff is. As I sat there I was sort of pouting as I stared at the beautiful clothes so neatly displayed at the Gap. I can't afford to buy any of it...in any of the stores, even the cheaper ones. Since I've had kids it seems like all we can muster up is enough to buy a thing or two on the discount racks at Walmart, and they don't last. It just not really that fun to go to the mall when you can't afford anything. Don't get me wrong, we are blessed. I get to stay at home with my girls, we have a beautiful house and I have food to eat everyday! We are functioning fine on one income and there are even alot of things that we have that we really don't need. There is not a thing on this earth I need. I just get pouty and discontent every now and then about not being able to just go buy the things I want when I want...especially clothes and home decor...two of my loves! ;)

As I sat there thinking "I need to stop torturing myself and just go find a job," this 85 year old tiny, petite, little, frail looking woman comes walking by and all she can seem to stare at are my kids. She stops walking, leans on the barrier wall and looks at them and just laughs as she watches them play. She was beautiful! You would think it was the very first time she had ever seen children play. She was soaking it in and loving every minute of it. She asked me what their names were and their ages. I told her and she looked at me almost reading my mind and said...its worth it...I was little freaked! I hadn't said anything about how I was feeling or what was on my mind. She went on to tell me that she was the mother of three sets of twins. As she said that my mind instantly went on to thinking wow, the sacrifices she had made in her life to stay at home and provide for them.

Then the Holy Spirit got ahold of me. What a sorry way to live! What a terrible mindset to have! God has provided my every need and some of my wants and here I sit with my two beautiful healthy little girls staring at a glass window with fake people who have perfect bodies and wishing I were them. I don't want to live like a manequin! I want to live my life to the fullest and if that means that I have to wear "Miley Cyrus" for the next 17 years of my life, then so be it!

After a little conversation with her, (and alot of conviction as I listened to how greatful she was for her life) it was time for her to leave. As she walked away she said..."These are the best years of your life, you just don't know it yet!" WOW! What an eye opener!

I thank the Lord for that 85 year old woman at the mall. I praise God for older women who don't live their lives like manequins and take for granted their blessings. God has given me this time and has given me the opportunity to stay at home and share life with my children. Not every woman gets to experience that. Some women would give anything for my life. Before, all I could think about was getting my kids in school so I could go back to work. Now, all I can think about is maybe we should have another baby. What a ministry God has given me. In the end, all that will matter is the way I lived my life, not what I wore or how my house looked.