I have alot on my mind lately! The last couple of days really. It's not a bad thing...it's good! I just feel an overwhelming sense of "I don't know!" A contentment..a calmness. Not a careless kind though. I still care, I just am not anxious.
I am at that point right now where there are so many things that need to be done in my life and no way to get it all done in one day, one week, or even one month.
I have so many worries and concerns and I won't list them, but No one puts those pressures on me other than myself. It's sinful and it's wrong! (I am so thankful that I have a husband who is understanding, loving, forgiving, and helpful. I am truly blessed with the best husband in the world. He was gift to me!)
Usually when I get to this point in my life, I get overwhelmed in a bad way. I get frustrated, short, forget things, take short cuts, or just don't do some things because of priority, or because I am too stressed to do them. When I get to this point you will hear me say that I just want a vacation! This is a norm for me!
Right now however, I am overcome by God's goodness and peace. I am working diligently and doing the best I can, and I am okay with the outcome. I don't lay down at the end of each day and feel guilt or regret. I don't feel like I wasted my day or go down my list of a million some-things that needed to get done and didn't. I lay down and say...I got alot done today and that's that.
Maybe God is changing me. Maybe I am getting to a point where I am content with not being perfect. I hope that's it. I don't want to live my life everyday feeling the pressure and guilt of worry. Phillipians 4:6 says do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
No matter what my circumstances are, I am not supposed to be anxious, but thankful and go to Him in prayer. He already knows my situation and fears and worries, but those are just temporary things. What's more important to Him is that I am content and thankful in the midst of the storm.
I have stopped viewing my life as a to do list and more like a Journey that I am on. I am glad that the Holy Spirit offers me comfort and peace. What sweet relief He offers me.
I love you Jesus!
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